Letting Go of Old Frends.

As we get older our circle of friends gets smaller and as adults you're not always in social settings to meet new people outside of work or school related events.
The friends we know for years have become family and overtime we accept their negative and toxic behaviors and cover it up as "that's just how they are" or " we fight like siblings".

The past two years I've broken off two long term friendships. In the beginning I felt bad as we were close and knew one another so well, it was weird because friendships feel more complicated than romantic ones it's just not as easy to let go of.  But what happens when a person keeps repeating the same behaviors that are causing friction?

We'll I feel clearly don't respect you enough. Many times we accept their behavior and feel like we have to work to keep the friendship alive because of the history, despite all of the negativity.

In my circle of friends I've always been considered the dad or "Dr.Phil". I rarely sugarcoat things for my friends and tell them the truth aka the things they don't always want to hear so in the past I've had friends lie to me or not even tell me things about the dumbest things that my other friends knew because they felt I'd be judging them or don't approve. One thing I hate is a liar or secrets being kept from me so that makes me upset also why do people feel like just because we're friends we always have to agree? In my opinion it's perfectly healthy and okay for us to disagree and have different outlooks on life as long as we respect one another. I'm the type of friend that wants the very best for my friends and when I feel you re slacking I'll tell you.

I have two friends that aren't as close as they use to be and constantly fight and argue but I feel won't break off the friendship out of fear of being alone and also because of how long they've known one another.

I'm at a place in life where I'm constantly trying to grow as a person and be more positive so I'm in a different place in life and well, if they aren't growing, most likely we'll grow apart so I don't feel as guilty if our friendship starts to slowly fade.

Not all friendships end on bad terms some friendships just tend to grow apart for various reasons such as new jobs, distance, new relationships or simply because you're in a different place and with life requires growth or you'll be stagnant.

Here are a few of my tips on trying to peacefully end the friendship.

Communication- I believe this solves most things just be open and honest with one another.

Don't speak with your emotions - If your friend has done something to you maybe you should give it some time before discussing your issues.In the the heat of the moment it's never a great time to discuss how you feel because one of you might say something hurtful that you might later regret.

Give space "Prebreakup" - If you're not ready to breakoff the friendship, give your friend some space and if they aren't changing well maybe that's your sign. Don't continue to dismiss their behavior then down the line wonder why they aren't changing, well it's because you continue to accept it.


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